There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
