good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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