I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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