dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
