Screwed.edu
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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