he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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