My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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