oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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