You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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