She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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