Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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