i don't like sucking hair
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
