he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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