I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.