Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him