He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
