You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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