But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My vagina is very pro this idea
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