you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
