you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
