Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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