i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
