Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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