1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
