If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
