were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
