So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
