Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
