I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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