You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
