i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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