By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize