who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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