I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
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He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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