i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I will be naked everywhere
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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