it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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