Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
