the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
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At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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