hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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