I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
