I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
