Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
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Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
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Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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