i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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