some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
