Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
