You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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