who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
