but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize