oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize