Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What a dumb baby whore.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
