Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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