ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
