Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This can only be settled by a dance off.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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