If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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