It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
