I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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