I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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