Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
