Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
