Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
