some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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